time-off

words cant describe feelings at times,don't you think so?have you wonder at times how many people on this earth actually really care about you?your existence?i never really know that i had a number of people around me in life,but when i need them,little did i expect, only some are able to stand there by me.it never got into my mind,that there's some things that people wont really do for you.not all the things that your love ones will do for you.trust me.only did i realised yesterday,that the only people who will stand up for you be there when you need most,without asking you why you need that help,without thinking much to willingly lend you a hand when you need most is our lovely parents.i dont care about others who think otherwise for their parents but to me,to majority of us,parents are the best people you can rely on. my parents never turn me down when i need their help.never did once.i am thankful for that.so this time,when i need help,and they wanted to help but don't meet the requirement for age wise, i know they do feel helpless.but i know,if i ask, they are able to help,they will not ever turn me down. so there begins my venture of looking for potential 2 people.never did i know that its going to be difficult.i thought i do have quite a number of potential people around me,whom meet the criteria,but then again,it reveals the nature of humans.the basic human nature to one another.TRUST. what really breaks my heart is that people whom i expected to be there for me when i need most somehow question me when i need help,i do understand the thing that im seeking for help have consequences if i break it.i will explain about it before you agree to do it for me,but what really set me back by the unnecessary question that bombarded me with tears.maybe i was just being too emotional yesterday but how could people doubt me when the only question that i ask you was very first stage.like a yes/no.probing me lotsa questions afterwhich wasnt a necessary thing,it got me think,ponder,am i really that useless?people don't trust me?why?i never did anything that makes people mistrust me,having second thoughts about my words and actions when that some of them are having the same type of blood thats flowing inside me.where do i go to then if in future im left alone without my parents?i can't even count on them.where should i go to when i need help? i know some are scared of the consequences and stuff,i don't blame them.as human there's always this part of you that makes you think twice to help others when there's consequences.im not going to accept your offer of help till i really don't get one.i mean i will get the closest ones help first until i cant find one, only then i will accept your help.but they dont even offer to help.i wasnt looking for much.i was just asking you to offer that hand of yours.that,actually what really really breaks my heart.i need some time to heal that part,some time on my own... i used to have a handful of friends,now,countable,even then in life,friends might be there for you,most of the times,but some little teeny weeny part,there's always this part that they will have a reluctance for you.that 1% is always there,i'm not trying to say im the best,im the noble one.but if i fit the bill,i will open my hands to help.i will not think much or further consequences of doing it,cos know what,i trust them,all of my closest friend,even the ones who are new to me,but if i know their background,i'm willing to sacrifice anything for them as long its within my means insyallah.i know its easier to say than done.but again,i'm willing to do so insyallah.but it breaks my heart when they are not there for me.but i know Allah is always there for me.and Allah wanted to show me there is always a kind soul out there,to lend you a hand.my prayers were answered alhamdulilah.that people just never think twice or doubting me from the conversation i had with them.i mean,im so touched by them.really i do.i will always remember this for the rest of my life.thanks alot for being a good friend,uncle to me. im grateful for the help and i will always pray for them insyallah...