my bitchy moments

HI IM BACK.(WHO CARES RIGHT)
yeah,with the not so good mood.had my b***hes days few weeks back.TOTALLY FELT like a professional WORLD CLASS b***h.NOPE.please do cross out all the negative words you wanna associate with what i've just said.i super felt like i had no LIFE NOW.and that my life just revolves around SCHOOL.i swear i NEVER had THIS FEELING b4.like the feeling you think about going to school tmr,fearing that you might not able to finish your schedule work,fearing of PEOPLE disturbs you with work.FEARING that youR ideas might NOT  be accepted by group members???

I SWEAR WASN'T me back then.i used to be so CHILLED out in life.so laid back.THINK NOTHING ABOUT SCHOOL.assumed school was just part of the days that need to go through in life.BUT NOW,THINGS CHANGED.i have no idea for betta or worst??I FELT SO TERRIbLY STRESS FOR DUNNO WHAT REASON.I SWEAR.I AM NOT ME.NOWADAES.

all the DEMONs have turned me into a SUPER BITCHY GIRL.AND I DUN WANNA AND DUN WISH TO BE THAT.OKAY LOOK,im just gonna be a nice,CRAZY next door girl.i mean the past me.NOWADAES w/o realising i've turned to TALK ABT PPL????LIKE SO NOT ME.I SWEAR I HATE IT. LOOK IM THE STRAIGHT FORWARD TYPE.yes my words are aharsh and hurtful at times but at least i convey my msg to the INTENDED person directly becos I DUN LIKE THEIR WAYS?oh that USED TO BE ME.BUT NOW,I CAN'T???i have to either keep quiet/like pretend not to know/PRETEND I LIKE(the worst feeling) EVEN IF i DISAGREE THINGS??

i wanna voice out but instead people want me to keep away or just KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT and instead make/divert me into engaging 'small private talk',LIKE TO KEEP SECRET?EH,tis is not primary school or even secondary school i swear!even when i'm that age,I DUN DO THAT???

now, i have to let out my anger in 'small private talk'.THAT'S WHY I FELT LIKE A BITCH.i mean like kinda GOSSIP in a rude way of saying.people dun influence me easily.its just the way i'm thinking now that rules me.COS I HAVE TO WORK WITH THEM(IN project)SO I  have no choice to stay 'FRENS' wif them and be kinda two face and can't afford to hurt them.LIKE MAMPOS.this kinda feeling sucks i swear!I HOPE BY THIS WEEKEND,IM able to wash off ALL THE IMPURITIES IN ME.

wish me LUCK!

hope to get away from all this STRESS symptoms.and be a GOOD, non-bitchy girl.YOU KNOW WHAT,SILENCE IS THE BEST NOWADAES(which is so not me oso)

XOXO.
'bitchy idiot'(hope i can erase this title by end of the week!!!)