i dunno why im such a failure.booo.i had wanted it so much.so much.the first tyme it didn't hit me that much..or maybe just becos i had wanted it badly now...afraid that i might not make it..the day b4 i couldn't sleep well okay...like so rare nowadaes..kau kasi aku bantal mane2 aku boleh bum..yes even tepi jalan...dere was once i was sitting at d kerb with sumbody,i fell asleep at d pole.ter doze off la...was unintentional..

i felt like jumping off the track just now..like suddenly got the urge to la..but my anonymous member told me not to..(naseb ade org tahan if not masok paper besok)b4 dat i've like kick & scratch some property which dosen't belong to me definitely.i think i'm going crazy..like d impact was damn huge when i failed like again.2nd time.eish.yes maybe others thot mcm ape je la ni minah.okay pompan.skit pon nk bunoh diri.its not only becos of these la kan.not some childish budak kay..got some other matter which i dun need to tell the world definitely..

i can't face my dad seh today..like he's been hoping for me to pass la.obviously who dun want..he extra special treatment to me lately?cos i noe he wanted me to pass today.becos obviously he dun have to spend money unecessarily on me?usuali i'm mad at people but today i think im super mad at myself.for being so stupid and blurr. god gave me d best tester (the one who will give u chance after a minor mistake)but i didn't use it well,thus again another telor busok in my record.but got this particular c**(i dun like this word nimore) plus the mamat inside laughing at me when i made that stupid mistake.aku mcm nk maki je...tapi tidak boleh...kerna ku maseh mahu god help aku.okay ape punye bahase pon aku tktau.but i noe dats the sligtest thing that will land me in hot soup.but that malay tester although with this stern look(all tester are like that duh) but his words after the test are still fresh in my mind.''you keep concentrating on not making mistakes, the more you tend to.your failure is a result of concentrtaing on not making mistakes rather than focusing on moving on'' well i think thats reali reali true cos after that FINAL mistake(mampos nye) i knew straight in mind i cannot make it nimore and den dere i went..bla bla bla,.....just jalan tk ikot arah..aimlessly...kwang3...i feel like crying..but how come no tears...?just dun feel like seeing anyone...and hide in some cave?