Commitment & Trust

Definition of commitment varies from one to another.Commitment is basically a promise, a responsiblity that you need to carry out dutifully,to be given full attention to though at times this will also varies from one person to another,depending on the matter you are suppose to be commited to.I personally got irritated with some people who loves to use the word wrongly,in the wrong context.Commited to a relationship dosen't just mean you stay with that person throughout your life,even though you don't really love him/her like it used to be.That itself means that you are not even commited to yourself.You don't even stand on your own principles and feelings.This indeed is a vice versa thing too;it dosen't mean that you are not commited to that person just because you are always apart from one another,though in your heart that person is there for you.So hence,although its the same word,Commitment,different people have different usage for the words.

Trust is when you gave your fullest believe in a paricular thing,person;reliance on another person or entity.It has to go hand in hand with the word commitment.

So,the reason I blog about this is to answer you people,who have been asking me the reasonS for

Not To Be In Relationship has now officially & finally come to surface,partly,is afraid of Commitment.Ofcos,its not as if you are gonna be at the stage of getting engage after that or even to get married right after that,its just the thing that you need to really OBSERVE and think twice triple or even a zillion times before you can take this person for a further stage.Ofcos,its not just by one meeting and not just pick random people from the streets or market to be that partner.And there is just the thing with me that i don't trust people easily.If someone's wants it,you have to work hard enough to gain that trust of mine(i'm not saying this as if i'm big shot,though i sound like one,i think)but I think that this apply to everyone around the world right?Confession of mine,I don't trust the people i have been with in relationship;only 1*that was, i think 3years back or 4?*sorreh toO long ago,don't remember,and if that's what i called and consider BF-GF thingy.That one just deserves someone way better than I am seriously;and he got it already.Don't even trust the time i have been spending with the people i've dated(not that many,but wait,i really forgot)more than 2 but less than 5.i think.and all didn't even turns out well after a few of well,.. meeting sessions i call it.HAHA.

Well sometimes, I just have to blame myself for it,for having kinda interview session with them instead of like having to date them.I kinda put priorities and set a criteria base kinda chart *in my mind that is* before even going for the next few more dates with them.So once that guy shows the symptoms of not my taste kinda thing *mcm paham* I definately will delete his number from my mobile.I rather do that than have to deceive him and myself to having more couple of meeting sessions right?To tell him ''Stop'' rather than to continue this unintended meeting sessions.I dun wanna lead him like a blind man up to a tall cliff and let him go at the edge of it. It will definately be a harsh fall.

Relationship is also one of the major reason,I would definately avoid family gatherings(my dad's side that is)it has always been the problematic one*shake head*as cousins of the side will always be sitting in a group at some point and will talk about their updates and one MAJOR point that they like to bring up,oh well you know it,''So how are you with Dol bin Mat?'' or sentence for the singles(that will be me)/or unsure whether they are single or attached or even straight,will be ''So are you attached already?''...and right after this moment I will hear a band of cricket synchronising their tune of song.I will tend to be the low profile kinda thing,since well, i don't have anything to share about this point and even so the rest of cousins will be sharing their love drama with me,i will be more interested in looking at my grandma's cooking on the table or even interested to know the experience my grandma had during World War II than having to deceive them and myself in listening the dramas.And there was once,when I had a gathering,I lied  to them that I'm seeing someone(though that time i just deleted the slow guy I dated),cos I wanted to get away from those stares that they will give doubting whether I'm straight or not?and whether I'm like a pure loser in dating scene,so i had to give that away,and when i did that,i give kinda a smirk,that they might not notice, as i was thinking ''Yeah rite bitch,who the heck am I seeing?the newspaper mamak at the bus stand everyday whom without fail staring at me one kind?'' HAHA.whateVER.

And lately,my friends i think, have been exceptionally concern,or even got kinda irritated or feel weird about me not having kinda of  a life partner yet.Like some might give stupid hints,asking me the obvious,asking me the WHY kinda questions with their puppy looking kinda eyelashes which is kinda pleading for help,..all of these which bugged me seriously,and i have gotten a few who like,trying to tell me whom to date or even partnering them with some of their friends,not one,not two but more than FOUR!*these will make me look as if i'm a can of milk that's about to expire and thus i need a buyer to drink me*OH COME ON GIMME A BREAK.

Relationship is not something you can take and throw as and when you like it to be,I have seen stringents of them doing so though.One moment you are so into another party,writing love notes to one another,updating fb status of their love ones and the next minute,all of it just crack apart,cursing each other publicly at fb,telling the whole world that you just broke up,and the next minute,you are hook up with another brat.that's so zaman gemilang adik2 kental.com/tkdearahhidup

And i just wanted to educate the public generally yarrr that the world dosen't just revolve around LOVE,and if it is,it dosen't have to be Relationship kinda thingy,it can be the love for parents,love for friends,love for family,to love YOURSELF & love Allah!amin.

Lastly,as much as i wanna be normal like you guyS out there*whatever look*,who seems to get the right companion of their lives,their saviour,their heroes,I want mine too,but you know what?!I keep getting the wrong choices!and the one that I have been with,I have lose it for good!(i hope he's not reading this).and like i have no interest in looking at guys anymore(look,im still straight)its just that,i don't bother about ANYONE,not even myself now.nah,its okayyy if he's meant for me,he's meant for me.let nature takes its course la gerl!ookaayy great,finally i'm able to type these out.thanks BLOG!

xoxo